Entry Fifty Eight: Thankful Before Thanksgiving.

I recall that last time I wrote, things were not full of rejoicing. Today I write once again pondering about everything which has changed, who I was so long ago, who I was just a year ago, to who I was last time I wrote. I am very thankful for the continuous tinkering, twisting, smashing, revisiting, revealing work the Lord does not cease to do. This semester has still remained, overall, absolutely fantastic. It has had some twists and turns, some unfortunate events, it has also had a couple surprises. There were also things I had hoped for which have yet to come true. But past it all graces outweigh whatever is left.

Choir has been the one thing keeping me together, singing, and what little I know about music gives me purpose. I still may have no clear direction with my major or why I am declaring it. Or really any hint to my future career, but I am not apathetic, I have found temporary solace. Where God provided I rest. Music has become more then something I find pleasurable. Although I haven't memorized the scale yet, and don't know how to read into all of theory, it has become apart of who I am. The people who perform it, the notes they sing along with mine, it has brought harmony into the very spirit of my life.

I am also so thankful to be young. At the ripe age of 22 I cant be more blessed with where my story had landed. Going on my second year hear at APU the Lord has blessed me with a continuos journey to his Kingdom taking one step at a time.  Revisiting old questions, raising new ones, bringing closure to the past, and opening doors to the future. This school has been a unbreakable ledger that will hold who I am, to what I will become, to where I will go. Being a Christian school, full of people who are blessed to be here, full of people who are on a similar journey, its a place I want to guide me to where destiny unlocks.

I will continue to dream, continue to hope, continue to pray, and work hard. I will place my knuckles on my chin overlooking homework until the day of graduation. I will as always continue to write when time permits me or vice versa. I will continue to thank God for what he provides. I will look to focus on what is positive, I will strive to do what is right. I will find affirmation in Christ for who I am, and will not perform in false identities for others as so many are lost to do today. Where foreground lays, where the spirit leads, I will go. These next two semesters will be very rough, will be testing; God is my strength.

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If God parted the sea for Moses how much more could he do for a weird fella like me! He can do whatever he wills. If I have Faith, if I have hope, if I have love, if I seek a relationship with Him, He will clear the way for me as he did Moses. I know this because he has done it in the past, did it in the past for the Israelites, will do it again for me. He will not abandon me, if I do not give up on myself or run away from Him. Where ever I am weak he will make me strong if I trust and have faith in the Lord.

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Words of personal affirmation to remember in hard times: Where the world is perhaps falling apart I will inevitably be fighting in its midst. Where I know there will be testing, where I am given vision to see the testimonies and problems ahead, I will trust, I will rely on the Lord. Where there is peace there is rest for war, bravery for reproof, reproof for honor. Honor for a smile on the face of God. Where there is doubt or fear I have my daggers of truth - Psalm 23:4, Philippians 4:8, Mark 3:25.