This is a short review of my second semester at school, which until recently was a rough road. Its had some downs, some hardships, but now that the semester is over and things are picking up. I can think back and reflect on what has happened the past couple years. Two years ago I wanted to start a bible study and time after time I got rejected. I wanted to start a service group and time after time I either got rejected from the Church or it just didn't work out.
The first time I casually sat down for an interview with my college pastor: "So Tyler why do you want to start a bible study?" he asked. I thought it was a strange question, as if illogically somehow my motives were corrupt or skewed. So instead of barking back I politely gave him every good answer I could possibly think of, which followed my true convictions. Our conversation ended with me sitting quietly and being politically smothered with excuses. I walked away baffled by the reasoning. Others then said I wasn't a good enough speaker, I wasn't a born "leader". It definitely didn't make any sense, because according to my Bible Christ's first four apostles were all fisherman, Mosses had a speech impediment, Joanna was a coward by nature, and other Bible characters were either prideful, ill guided, or actually sexually sterile, and yet God used them too. From my point of view, speaking out of humility, at times I can fit almost all of those descriptions haha. I mean really, who here is perfect?
I tried other attempts to form this service group and a couple times we had successful outcomes. Recently me and a group of friends went down to Los Angeles to do service. We passed out goodie bags with food, water, hygiene kits, and a couple blankets. We also prayed for the homeless and spoke with them to hear their life stories. It was amazing! I even got the chance to lead a few prayers and some of the others did too, it was wonderful! But unfortunately trying to get this movement going has been difficult, because it's not like a church where you can walk in and fetch people from a crowd of three thousand. My next idea was to go to my school and get involved with a program called Discipleship ministries, which is basically a bible study you have free-reign over. You creatively lead and love. I was assigned four guys to start with and after sending an email out to see what day works best, two never replied, and two replied saying their schedules were no longer open.
I recently dropped out of my old life group due to incompatibility and allow me to explain. I am a doer just as most men are. I know I need to also be a "being" as my choir director often says; "God is a "Being" and we are human "beings" we are not called human 'doings' ". But I like "doing" and I think if more people started "doing" things for Christ then we may have better world. Anyway, my old group talked about how important things were to do without every doing them. We read a lot and had a plethora of group decisions on various topics. Although such practices are vital to spiritual growth, they cant be the sole thing you focus on. How are you challenging the group if reading is all you challenge them with, how are you furthering your community or loving you neighbor? A perfect example of what I am saying happened in 2011. We were watching a video on Francis Chan about how the American Church is often an idle thing. His main point was that we do not focus on service as much as we should, that in order to be a real Christian we have to get out of our little comfy Cul-De-Sac's and hug those in need, feed them, cloth them, or at least speak with them. Now, do you know what we did after the video ended? Guess. Yep, we sat and talked about it. I was infuriated. So in sum I left because its 2013 and we were still the same.
I am so crushed, destroyed, and fed up with the laziness. I am so fed up with legalistic Christianity. Not with God. Not with Christ. I am disgusted by this crazy human standardized construct we have managed to keep remodeling as if it's a theme park attraction. One that still comfortably sits around doing squat. The very system Jesus came to destroy, it kept the favored in power and ill favored oppressed. Would the church ever ask a prostitute to write a worship song if shee was just beginning to take the first steps towards learning Christ's real love? Probabbly not, they would wait until this prostitute was a full convert or exemplified some kind of undoubtable trust. Would the Church ever ask a man who is willing to lead a bible study to lead a bible study if he had no leadership experience? Probably not, not until it was observed that he is a good example of what the church wants to market towards its congregation. You're only asked if you fit within the religious mannerism and spiritual practicums demanded on everyone else, who, for the most part does a horrible job of keeping them. Those who have good intentions paired with a strong faith or those with an openness to learn and grow are often ignored or somehow marginalized. Then they are left to write out their frustrations on a blog or personal journal.
