Entry Sixteen: Christmas is almost over.

Well its 30 minutes until christmas is officially over. Today was pretty good! Sadly I was sick, but I did get everything I wanted - and more! I had christmas eve at my grandmas house on my fathers side, I got a new flight log and some money from family. The next morning (christmas) I spent at my other grandmas with mom. I was a little nerves going there, I really don't want to get them sick. Ill have to wait a few days before hearing if she did or not.

My grandpas was also there, it was nice seeing him. I can still recall all the memories, all the time we spent together when I was a kid. He taught me so much, like all grandpas do, but he was special, he was and still is a pastor. I am so proud that he was apart of my life. There is one kind memory which I never shall forget, the bikes rides he used to take me on. He would ride me around the block and we would talk for hours, questions would spill out of my mouth, he returned them with answers. I wish I could still hold full conversations with him, but his alzheimer's wont allow it. Im very glad I got to spend another christmas with him. The only thing that makes me sad is I forgot to get him something for christmas. I got my grandmas a John Wayne collection on DVD, I guess both of them can enjoy it.

My mother put so many presents under the tree! There were lots of great gifts waiting to be opened, I got a blanket from my grandma, a few really nice shirts! And From my mom the aviation flight bag I really wanted! I got my mom a snuggie and a dvd, she already had it though so I think shes going to return it. I got robert a few DVDs too, he can be a little picky when it coms to movies but I think he liked them. Oh and I forgot to mention earlier, on christmas eve I got my dad a really nice audio headset for work, thats all he said he wanted. Overall this christmas was just great!

Its now 11:40, I cant believe christmas is almost up. I was downloading some old pictures from my phone to my mac and also browsed through my library. I still have the photos from last christmas and it feels like they were taken only yesterday. I remember as a kid my parents used to use that phrase "it feels like it was only yesterday" or "I remember that like it was yesterday". Im starting to use that phrase more and more as the years go by.

Before writing this I finally got to read some of the good old word, I read the book of wisdom. Only a few pages though, it made me cry a little, with sadness and with joy. This earth is so mind boggling. In all its complexions and confusion the only thing I can find peace in is god, the distant, the vast.

I will finally be clean, I will finally be good and perfect in the eyes of god. I will no longer sit at night, questioning my every day inabilites, nor will I feel shameful for my mistakes. I will no longer be lonely nor empty. I will be filled with pools of love. Best of all, my mind will be purified, because as of right now its a swamp.

It will be like waking up on christmas morning when my parents were still together. The ones where I woke up filled with an overwhelming joy and excitement. When life was perfect and all things, were right. I specifically remember this one christmas when I was playing with a toy remote control car with my dad, and I remember my mother smiling and watching us both. I also have other memories of us decorating the tree, me climbing under it, and me playing with the playmobile train we used to set up.

When that time comes I will give god a hug, my dad a hug and give my mother a hug and kiss. I will run to the tree and dance in front of it singing hallelujah. Oh what a hopeful and wondrous idea, what a peaceful though, it makes me cry. These Christmas's, the days of reflection, the days of delight.

Until Next year! Merry christmas!