Entry Sixty: The Second Year Done

This semester I declared my major as political science and also got an internship with a California State Assemblyman. I loved working at the assembly office, I loved the culture, I loved being held responsible for things that create an impact. Its unfortunate I am unable to say the same thing about Church, because church is where life changing stuff happens or should happen. I can tolerate bureaucracy from a secular world because it is secular. It is none negotiable to tolerate political bureaucracy from a world of so called "christ followers". On the other hand I cant be frustrated at the church if the church is not what lead me to where I am now. Giving them this much power ousts God. I suppose I should be taking this rejection as a sign for something to do with my future, with my career, and where God plans to have me live life. If politics is where I am really supposed to land long term then I wont complain. I will trust God and put all my passion into perusing what he has in store for me.

It's been a different season to say the least. My classes have been stressful, and I have been very lonely.  Having my spiritual life close to shambles has proven to be an extremely difficult test. I have become distant with many of the guys in my choir group because I don't feel the Lord near by, he has become hard to sense and I cant see exactly why. However, I do have my suspicions, my Romans and Galatians class really morphed the bible into a textbook rather then spiritual guide. Its become dry as dirt, every passage I open up and read I think of the historical context, or the context according to the authors standpoint and personality. I cant look at anything like it was before, now, in order to read and gather meaning out of it I subconsciously have to think about history. Thankfully it's my last bible class, and I can move back to reading scripture with the spirit at my side. I can start taking objective standpoints from my own view and accept what I read. Hopefully in time my Bible will come alive.

Now that my finals are over I can begin thinking about summer, which has some amazing blessings in store. My Choir tour leaves in exactly two more days! We will be going up the West coast this year by bus. Our schedule will get us through San Francisco, to Oregon, and Washington State. Then we drive back to California hitting up the capital in Sacramento. I am so excited! This will be the time where I can re-invest into my friends, where I will be able to smile again and laugh. I know it wont be exactly like last year, but I am excited about that too. This year our group is smaller, its more intimate, and it has a lot less of an ego. Harold also has his PHD now, which has everyone amped up to sing proud! There is going to be a ton of good bonding and brotherhood too, which is what I am stoked about the most. The bus rides are going to be filled with games, sleeping, and deep conversations. I also plan to bring my good camera this year, so I can take more pictures and capture all those special moments.

It will be a different summer though after returning. I wont be able to hang out with any of my old friends, or attend church again, which I hoped to do after school let out. I was accepted to be a camp counselor for the Salvation Army at Pine Summit. Thankfully, I wont be alone or bored! It is such a huge blessing and I am so unexplainably excited! It will be the first time I work extensively with American kids, which are much different then African or Indian children. To be in a christian environment, working with younglings, in nature, what more could I possibly ask? God has continued to provide for me, work with me, and listen to my requests and needs even in this season of dryness and frustration. Christ is still standing right by my side, and I am still under his wing, still in awe by his provision and grace. Whom then shall I fear? I will continue pressing on, moving past obstacles, and maturing into the man that God has made me to be. I will never let go of my faith in the Lord.