Entry Sixty One: Reflecting On The Past And Kingdom Come.

Like always it's been awhile since I last blogged, similarly so much has happened in such a short time. In my last post I mentioned summer plans and all of those plans somehow managed to take place. Some occurred as expected, awhile others played out with more reward then I could have imagined on my own. My choir tour went very well, but there were some unexpected events and surprises along the way. On the first day of tour my director was bitten by a dog, then on our journey to San Francisco we hit a literal bump on the road and I was flung into the window, where my butt almost shattered it. Last but not least, awhile we traveled through Washington our bus broke down. Everyone also happened to be more disconnected and tired then in the previous summer. Friendships seemed to be a little more difficult to form and hold together. For many of us I think it was a very tiering experience, not because of what had perhaps happened or not happened but more because of our insane schedule. On our "Rest Day" it took us almost 4 hours to get to the destination we were supposed to "Hang Out" at, yet we only had an hour to relax before moving out for another 5 hours on the bus getting to our next destination. Needless to say, it was all still a good experience, it was still so much fun and more of a blessing then I could have ever asked for. Sitting at Star Bucks and thinking about the whole thing, remembering it happened only two months ago makes it feel surreal, as if it were just a dream. Especially when I think about the summer before, when we all traveled on the East Coast.

Speaking of summers past, I have so many blessing to count! Such as finding a good church and developing friendships that happened to build me up in tremendous ways! Four years ago I stepped into the walls of my current church and I have followed its journey just as it has followed my own. To see the community and individuals spread out and grow up, move around, and shift their lives just adds to the overwhelming sense of wonder. People I met at the beginning are going to seminary, or getting married, or starting their careers! Seeing it all develop has been a privileged glimpse of Gods handy work. To also embrace the fact I was accepted into a real University along with peers was at first a jolt! The opportunities and tremendous life change APU has provided me would take pages to explain. However, to mention a few... now I have friends! I have confidence, empowerment, and I am in a choir that grants me access to travel without charge. Last semester my career in the political field started to take off thanks to our academic advising department and some connections, which has made planning for the future a less daunting task. Examining these time spans in my head has provided confidence in myself and a great deal of security for whatever shows up. Not to say that any time span has been a total breeze, each reward also came with its difficulties, its disappointments, and its pain. Though these small things in comparison cannot mask the spectacular whole that continues to unravel each day.

Today I feel stunned by how fast time fly's past us. Earlier I was hanging out with a friend that reminded me of my growing age, which actually sparked this whole thought process and my urge to blog. Awhile sitting at lunch with him it dawned on me that we had been friends for eight years! We first started hanging out freshman year of high school! After pondering that fact in bewilderment... a flood of memories started rushing in, like old friends we also used to hang out with and the things we used to do with them. I remembered all the stupid things I did awhile I was in La Canada, like wandering around bored past curfew with friends, smoking cigars, playing the occasional beer pong. Then I also remembered the simple things, like grabbing pizza, going to the movies, swimming in the pool, sitting and watching the fire of 09 burn in the foothills. I remembered some of the birthday parties I attended, like Rachel's and Brandon's. All the good adventures I had also came to mind - like the Air Soft games down in the park, behind the trail under the bridge, and under the power lines. I also recalled some of the hikes and places we used to explore. To now sit here at star bucks and digest it, see all the changes sitting right in front of my face, the friends who have left or the ones I had to leave behind... the emotional density seems almost divine. Im blown away by the quantity of experience, things I have walked past, seen, touched, smelled, cried over, loved, hated, and crammed into my life. To arrive where I am at today leaves me somewhat speechless, because life still has not ended yet.

Today I am now a camp counselor at Pine Summit, a Salvation Army Camp, which makes so much of my past seem so foreign and even removed. The positive aspects are all empowered awhile the negatives continue to fade. However, it's not because something so horrible happened that I felt incapable of being a camp counselor, actually I had just never anticipated being a camp counselor, never anticipated I would be here in summer 2013 enjoying life and walking with the Lord so closely. Being at camp has been a period of revelation, I have discovered so much about myself that I never thought existed. Awhile up the mountain I feel like a totally different person, my spirit can breath, I am profoundly confident, easily excitable, actually clever, and full of witty remarks for things to appreciate. Being up the mountain and so strangely far from everything I can relate to my normal life makes looking forward so easy, where before the future was always fogged and to be worried about. That is my biggest revelation of all. Being up the mountain has allowed me to raise above the smog line of my life, I can see the beautiful possibilities awaiting for me in the future, because I can better appreciate all that has happened in my past, the good and the bad, all of it. I can see myself graduating college, I can imagine the different roads the Lord has placed in front of me and I am not afraid to believe in them. Whatever I do and commit to the Lord, he will establish my plans. The Kings Kingdom shall come.