Entry Two: Reflection of the past

Its been awhile sense I last touched a video game. When I was younger (age 15-16) I played a multitude of them, it became a lifestyle. Buying the latest issue of "Game Pro", having my social life online rather then reality, and only leaving the room for two things - food and the bathroom. Looking back now it was fun, but a poor way to live those years.

That life style was created due to many past events, but started all because of one thing, a game specifically - Halo. A year after it came out, my parents finally allowed me to buy it. During that year I found something that I could do with others. I began to spend hours at my friends house. Staying up late, pulling all nighters, and eating junk food.

The only thing that made this possible was High School. Homework wasn't too strenuous and my social life wasn't huge. I had plenty of time to kill and a small nich of friends to do it with. I probably could have put my time to better uses. Instead of blowing half a day on Battle field 2, or COD I could have been learning guitar, Drums, or how to repair a car.

Its different now, at 18 I finally manned up and dropped it all, like a dirty habit. Two years later (today) I wonder what my life would look like if I continued. At least back then I had a unquestionable title, "He's a gamer" people would say. Now? I don't really know what I am, "a college student"? Tonight I have the strangest urge to go away in a world of death, explosions, and spawn points. Its probably because of the recent stress I have been under.

Its amazing how much I have changed from who I was in that day. I went from Confused Christian, and anti social, and complete egoistical bastard, to... loving, more outgoing, and more understanding. I went from a world of tunnel vision to a world of reality. Its no longer about Xbox live, but about being alive.

I wish that change could have come faster. Today I see many of my peers much more successful because of the seemingly small decisions they made during there youth. Skills that you can only learn with time. It would also be nice if I started a blog long ago, then all of those times I needed something to recall, something to reflect on, something to improve, I would have it. I cant count the times I stayed up late thinking about something, and then completely forget about it the next day.

At least now I am, and its a start. Ten years from now I cant even imagine what I will look like, and what this blog will turn into.