Entry Thirty Seven: Recapping the week - Memorial day.

Im not sure how to start this one off, its been such a long time sense I posted. I believe I explained in my last post what had happened to me just last week. It was a very off week, very strange, I had a car accident, my phone died, and a few other problems were brought up from the past. I can see now that it was simply God answering a few of my questions, (although he could have just said a Yes or No).

Basically I volunteered to go up to San Francisco with a friend,  I had the money, the courage, the ambition, but I never discussed it with God. So the next couple of days I thought about it, meditated, and prayed. On the third day my phone broke, and then an hour later I got into a car accident. I no longer had the money to go up there, and so I didn't, I asked and he answered. So instead of going up there I spent the weekend at home, with friends, and with family. It was nothing special, but still fun.

Its now monday, memorial day.  I went to the grocery store and spent some time with family. It was actually a lot of fun, brought back some good memories from the past. It almost feels as if the past never happened, I mean, when I look back at my childhood speciic memories strike me, peace, tranquility, a safety which I don't generally feel. But today all these things were present once again. Days like today are just so fun and exciting, so wonderful!

I also got a chance to go grocery shopping with a new friend of mine, new female friend. We are not dating, but actually just met a few weeks ago, about four I believe. This may sound a little strange, but for that hour I got a small taste of marriage, or at least one of the perks of it. I love shopping by myself, without my parents, but it is even more fun shopping with someone you genuinely appreciate! Not to say I do not appreciate my parents, but I mean, they are my parents, which is completely different then being with a peer.

As we began to finish up at the checkout isle my mind just started to jump from topic to topic, idea to idea, all the curiosities and wonders of being married, what it theoretically may look like. My subconscious just spurted out some of the ups I know that marriage has. Spending quality time together, having someone to be yourself around, all the time, in all your different moods! Having a kid, raising a kid, watching him/her grow, owning a house, owning a car, being completely independent! The perks, the wonderful amazing perks!I barley know the person, and I don't even know if I like her. Maybe the experience was just so overwhelming and soooo exciting that I just jumped to an end result, my brain had to.

Im not sure "why" my mind automatically jumped there, but I assume its completely normal, I know many of my other friends find someone they think such thing about, even outside of a dating situation, even with someone they barley know. Its just fun, its fun dreaming, its just fun dreaming about possibilities. Even though they may be 4-5-6-7 years in the future, its still fun. But, I didn't think much about dating, oddly. I guess the word just sounds dirty, the idea, I automatically jump to kissing, sex, and the ups and downs of a misused relationship, a means for just hooking up. Someone needs to find a word to replace is, a word which means taking is slow, with ambition, and admiration for the person you like, or possibly love.

In all the relationships I have seen in my own family, I haven't heard or seen much of what most people  describe to be dating, what this culture describes to be dating. Its as if my family is all using a totally different word, my word, the word I want to use, whatever it may come to be. My friends and family, are casual, fun, creative, theres more wine tasting and movie nights then makeout sessions, more visiting at Starbucks and the school library then parties, more going on hikes and bikes then to drives to vegas. And there is absolutely no sex until marriage - I messed up on that part already though, but it wont happen again! Theres one good use for fear, and thats keeping you in check haha.

..... ............ ............. hmmmm

Its interesting I just stumbled on all of this today, right now!!!!! Wow, Yesterday at Church this very topic was being talked about, a proper marriage, a dysfunctional relationship, sex inside of marriage and sex outside of marriage, Gods moral law, and why we should Obey it. How mind blowing, the Sunday they decide to talk about marriage is followed by a monday where I go grocery shopping with someone, and think about marriage. And prior to right now, prior to last night, I completely forgot about everything that was talked about sunday.

....... ........ hmmm ..........

That was a interesting experience, but now I have to prepare for tonight. I am meeting with a very old friend of mine tonight. He is "The one", my brotha from another motha, my twin of some sort, best friend, or at least he used to be. There are so many areas in his life which needs to change, needs extreme change. I know and believe, believe and know, that God is capable and willing, because I am where I am today (in the Church, dedicated, and very involved) and was where he is at one point in my life (Doing a lot of very... very bad things).

Im going to head over to his grand parents house around 6:00 hang out for a little, drive him to the airport, and give him a book I found. Its called (Answers to Tough questions). I hope he reads it, I wish I could give him Screwtape letters, that changed me in such a powerful way, opened my eyes to the evil things and lies which were being presented every day, in my life, and in others. Im going to keep pushing and pushing, and nudging him out of the darkness which is so obviously present in his life, drugs, sex, gambling, and God will do the rest.

Next time he comes down from San Francisco, ill had to read this blog, this post, and see what has happened!... in my life and in his.