Entry Ten: My life just went off balance

The scale has changed, what was vertical is now horizontal, what was the moon is now earth. Everything in my life has taken a step in the opposite direction. These two past weeks have been horrendous. I had the car accident last week, then yesterday found that my radiator might be cracked, and today I forgot to attend a very important study group for Finals.

I also missed church, at first I couldn't stop beating myself up over it. But maybe I wasn't supposed to go, I guess thats my excuse now.

I wish things would just stay "good", I don't really know what has made the tide turn. Perhaps my lure back into video games. I took my computer out of the closet about a week ago and played for an hour. And later I got another free trial for Eve-online. This is a game that took a very large amount of my youth. When I was in high school freshman and junior year. It sucked my soul away from me, like world of warcraft can do to children.

Its beginning to take hold of me again. I could have made it to my study group onetime and get work done, if I didn't log on.

I guess I should in a way be thankful, or at least find a way to make this a glass half full rather then empty. At least my addiction isn't physically harmful, just mentally and timely. Never the less, it is still a problem, a very serious and even dangerous problem. I wasted my highschool life, which to be honest isn't a huge deal. Sure I could have put my time towards learning other skills, but the point is I am in college now.

Looking back at my previous posts.... it began to take hold of me before I even knew. This just shows how problematic and serious it really is. I must find a way to vanquish this thirst once and for all... or find it a muzzle. I don't want to do anything rash though... I already learned that lesson once trying to fix something else...

I know this is just a shift in the current and it will return to normal soon, or at least I hope. Ninety percent of the time no major damage is done, I will just have to see what this all turns into. When I do, I will post again and then recall what has changed, along with the growth that has hopefully accuread.